Ailefyu more.

Since we are back together, he never said the 3 words to me. Too ego and too afraid to open his heart back to me. Afraid that I might hurt him again.

But when he finally did, I just can't stop smiling.

Now dia kat club. Otp tadi then he said the magic words.
"i love you more..."

Hehe... Dari bangun tido tadi kau sweet semacam. I just can't stop blushing today.
Thanks sayang :)

Ailefyu too.

ngeng.

Happy birthday comel :)

The only girl in UIA that has ever been there for me all this while. The only girl I trusted with all my heart. I miss you :(

Kepada sahabatku Dayang Amalina Hussein yang comel and kadang-kadang tu blurr nak mampos, happy birthday darling. Have a blast 20 !

Aku doakan kau happy selalu cause that is what you deserve in life. Take care.

I love you.

Tunggu aku kat Gombak k ?

ngeng.

magical words.

Action do speaks louder than words. I love you more too babyboo.

ngeng.

rude boy

Sama ada perangai aku yang mengada, bahasa aku yang kasar, tabiat aku yang buruk or bau aku yang paling kambing.

Semua kau dah tau. Semua kau dah nampak. Semua kau dah rasa.

What more can I ask for ?

Sebab itu, aku sayang kau sangat.

Wherever I go, whatever I do, whoever I'm with,

it has always been you.

Who took my heart away and have all of my love and soul.

Azfar Zahin...

ngeng.

formspring.me

Ask me anything http://formspring.me/phyealaina

study ? tenot ? ayah ? haih...

Lately aku macam malas sangat nak update blog. I used to love blogging sampai satu hari I can post up to 7 posts ! Now, cam haih... So I guess, in this entry this time, I'll sum up to everything that has been happening in my life.


This past few months has been the biggest breakdown for me my entire life. Never in my life to have so many problems at the same time. Maybe that is why I lost 6kg. Stress sangat sangat ! My love life, my studies, and my family. I'm just gonna start one by one.



Firstly is about my study. Herm..memang suck gile. I didn't go to class at all on my last two months of the sem where I should already be graduating. So, I ended up having to extend another semester. I know..I should have gone to Gombak years ago but due to my main-main punya perangai, dari supposely one year program, I had to stay in Nilai for 2 years. I had my lesson already. I'm not gonna mess around again this time. I promise. I will go to class everyday. Siapkan all assignments and stuff. No more going out, overnight or whatsoever.



So, enough said about my study. The biggest problem actually was about my love life. Herm... As you all know, I'm back with Apa after 2months of break up. Ramai tanya aku cane boleh baik balik ? Sebab masa tu macam semua orang rasa aku dgn dia dah over. Herm...panjang cerita ni. Herm... I was with Pacak at that time. But then I feel something is missing. I went looking for Apa back. At that time, dia dah ada perempuan lain. Apa cakap dorang tak couple pun. That girl was just a rebound. Dia dengan perempuan tu pun saja-saja nak main hilang bosan cause he was really upset when I left him. So I asked him to leave that girl if he wants me too. He did. So kitorang couple balik. The first month and plus, was really hard for me. Because Apa was really punishing me for leaving him and making him suffer before. But I was tough. Aku tahan even kena layan macam anjing pun. Cause I know Apa. Dia keras cane pun, hati dia tetap lembut. And plus, kawan-kawan dia semua cakap that Apa really love me and I was his cinta mati. That is why he chosed me instead of the girl he dated. And oh yeah, that girl's name is Yana or Tenot. Bell, kawan baik UITM Apa told me that...masa Apa otw nak berbaik balik with me, he told her that dia mmg sayang aku sangat and memang tak boleh hidup tanpa aku 'sbb aku je yang kenal baik buruk dia, luar dan dalam dia. It's true though. He can be with anybody he wants, but no one can be me. I know Apa too well.

Apa cakap dia phobia, paranoid when I left him before. So he needs time to be like Apa who I used to know. I was like okay, takpe. Until one day, I found out that Apa still bercontact dgn Tenot tu. I didn't have any solid proof to give to Apa when he denied it sbb yang bgtau aku tu pun, junior aku and kawan dia sendiri. So I just keep it to myself. I know when was that girl's bday. So on that day, I asked him did he wish her anything ? He said he didn't. He did not know that it was her bday until she texted him. I was like omg minah ni. Bapak ahh tak malu. But Apa convinced me that he loves me and tak layan pun tenot tu lagi. Sampailah satu masa, I have solid proof that Apa still contact tenot. I asked for an explanation and after that, he will never ever see me again cause aku nak blahh. Aku betul dah fed up, dah tawar hati. Apa yang treat aku macam gampang selama ni, tiba-tiba jadi lembut gila and beg me not to leave him. Dia explain everything...yang dia pun taktau kenapa dia contact dgn tenot tu. Aku tanya dia still ada perasaan ke kat tenot tu ? Apa siap sumpah demi Allah kat aku yang dia takde perasaan langsung kat tenot and dia tak suka tenot because semua benda yang dia larang aku buat, tenot jenis perempuan macam tu. Jenis yang touch and go punya perempuan. Aku pelik if Apa takde perasaan pun, then kenapa contact lagi behind my back ? Apa cakap tenot tu dia buat main je and dia taktau kenapa dia still contact. Dia pun taktau maybe dia nak mainkan tenot tu je. Entahlah. Sometimes, kesian gak kat tenot tu. Tapi salah dia jugak. Siapa suruh jual badan dia kat Apa. Padahal dorang baru kenal dalam sebulan, dah main. She should have known, rebounds don't stay long. I gave Apa another chance with conditions. Now Apa dah mula jadi macam dulu balik. He is now very sweet and lovey dovey like he used to be.And I'm more happier than before. About that tenot, I told her not to kacau Apa lagi. Dia cakap okay so if after this aku dapat tau dia still kacau Apa, memang dia cari nahas dgn aku cause I have been so nice and polite to her. So if she disrespects me, mmg dia kena. Oh yeah, did I mention that tenot tu junior aku ? So I know everything about her. My roommate yang satu batch dgn dia yang tolong search kan. Nak nak my roommate tu pun budak HS. Aku at first taknak tau pun. But budak budak Nilai ni mmg jenis penyebok, and dorang pun kenal Apa so dirang cari gak sape tenot tu. Memang silap lah kalau dia nak cari pasal dgn aku cause in Gombak, all of my friends yang senior dia are in Gombak. And some yang handle orientation. Senang jelah nak kenakan dia. But unlike her, I'm a nice person. Aku masih lagi tahu nak buat baik dengan orang. Now tenot tu baik-baik plak dgn kawan-kawan Apa. If dia nak amek hati Apa, memang dia silap besar. Sbb Apa paling tak suka kalau ex or even ex scandal sekalipun rapat2 dgn kawan2 dia. Ape tenot tu nak, aku pun taktau. Tapi dia mmg bodoh kalau dia percaya semua 'abang-abang' dia tu sbb ada antara dorang tu lah yang barua kat aku macam-macam pasal dia. Yeah, orang talam dua muka ni kadang-kadang bahaya gak. Nak tau siapa ? Biarlah rahsia. Whatever it is, I am now happy with Apa. More than ever. So pape nak jadi kat tenot tu, aku malas nak amek tau. Cause I already win. :))



My family pulak...herm.. Well, since a week before raya, my dad tak bercakap even a word to me. Time salam-salam raya pun, dia just salam and did not say a word. I miss him. I really do. I know mmg salah aku. Now dah nak masuk sebulan lebih tak bercakap. How do I make things right with him ? I really don't know how. Macam-macam dah aku buat. I have been the nicest daughter this holiday. But still, he just ignore me. Herm...this one, I really dont know what to do. All I can say is, I miss my dad so much.



Huh, penat type. So I guess, that is all. Haa bacalah satu-satu update aku pada korang yang dok bising aku dah lame tak update blog. Hee :))'

ngeng.

I'm sorry.

I'm happy now.

If you really love me, you would want to see me happy.

Even if it's not with you.

I'm sorry we had to end this way.

It's all my fault.

But there's nothing that I can change or you could do for us to be together again.

You should know, that I belong with him.

I'm just really sorry.

Hate me fine, but please don't ruin me for being happy.

I'm sorry.

ngeng.

......

I just got cheated. Thanks Azfar. Stupid me !

ngeng.

total eclipse of my heart.

Sometimes, you just know how to make me smile after making me cry.




People kept asking me if he's worth suffering for. Honestly, those are the reasons why he is.




ngeng.

yes, i desperately need a rebound.

Ramai sangat dah cakap blog n status status aku asek sedih je.


Wan call aku td tanya khabar. Sumpah aku rindu kau Wan. Haih. Wan, berpada k ? Jangan sampai kau jatuh lagi. Jangan jadi mcm aku. Herm.


Nak ckp bila aku boleh hidup happy, mcm tak bersyukur pulak. Aku just nk disayangi dan menyayangi. Bukan hidup dlm kesengsaraan. Besar sangat ke permintaan aku ?


Yea, aku ada Apa skrg. Aku happy ada die evn kitorang dah tak mcm dulu. Orang kate, amek masa. Luka lama masih berdarah. Herm. Ameklah seberapa lama masa kau nak. Aku harap jgn bila masa kau sembuh, aku dah putus asa menyayangi kau. Aku harap ape yg kau hamparkan pada aku skrg, hanyalah sementara.




Aku dah penat nk sakit.



ngeng.