As grey as me.

Miss Atiqa, my Oral Communication lecturer said last week how would you describe an apple to a blind man? Of course you can't say things like it's red in colour..how would a blind person knows what a red colour is??

Then, she asked us to describe a colour to a blind man. I was thinking..how? She gave some examples.

"Orange is like..waking up in the morning" or "blue is like the wind blowing through the ocean"...

Then..I must be feeling really grey. Cause my soul is empty.

p/s: I'm still searching who I am.

ngeng.

Dulu dan sekarang.

Ini Azfar Zahin Amzah dulu dulu.

Kemudian...

Ini Azfar Zahin Amzah sekarang.




Boleh tolong bagitau saya apa perbezaan yang anda nampak? Terima kasih.

p/s: Apa pun yang berubah, apa pun yang berbeza, satu saja yang takkan berubah atau berbeza..sayang saya pada awak.


Ifi cifinta youfu safangafat! :))



ngeng.

A friend in need.

Ya Allah Ya Tuhanku. I can't stand another minute here in UIA!! Everything is killing me. The studies and the students exactly!! Okay maybe it's me yang berproblem cause I don't really communicate with people around here. How can I??? Firstly, mostly orang kat sini berpuak puak. I hate that kind of people. Hello??!! This is so not high school anymore! Secondly, they like to talk shits!! Mengumpat je keje. Tak ngumpat budak, ngumpat lecturers. Like OMG!! Again, it's not high school!! Thirdly, diorang pon jenis memilih kawan, me myself pon camtu, mmg takkan masuk lah kan? And last but not least, the girls here seriously need to go out more often. Dah macam kat asrama sekolah perempuan dah. Semua laki pon nak minat. Sampai ke lecturer yang muda2 baru graduate pon dorang nak rebut!! OMG!! Kalau dah gatal sangat, cakap kat mak, nak berhanti belajar, pastu kahwin teros! Orang lain yang ada boyfriend tu pon takdelah batak sangat. Kalau kempunan nak laki pon, janganlah nampak sangat. Malu weh. Pastu nak cerita kat cafe, gelak kuat2..cakap pon nak terjerit2 macam nak kasi satu dunia tahu kau minat siapa. Euww!

Seriously, it's hard to find someone I can trust and I can hang out with here. Yang sekepala pon, mulut macam kepochi. Rahsia takleh nak diam. I hate to say this..but I think I miss STF. Though I hate that place and the teachers there but still..I rather be in STF then in UIA. Atleast I have my friends there. Or some.."so-called-friend"..but hey, atleast I'm not alone there. Here, I can't even talk to anyone. Apa has become my everything. Dah more to kawan perempuan then teman lelaki. Everything pon cakap kat dia. And dia hanya boleh respon "herm".."sabarlah".."herm".."herm"...and that's all. He's a guy. What do you expect? That's why I need somebody who I can be excited with. Where, whenever I need a company or a place to ngadu or story about stuff, she's there. Like a bff lah. My bff is far away. Handphones, yeah. But kena topup and all that. So, it's limited. Tak best.

Oh Tuhan..dengar lah rintihan ini. Kau kurniakanlah aku seorang sahabat disini. Sahabat yang boleh ku berkawan sampai mati. Amin.

ngeng.

Bad luck day.

Haish. Geram nie. Baru ingat nak start my day with a smile. I've planned everything yesterday. Satu pon tak jadi. Haih. Apakan daya. Kita hanya merancang, Tuhan yang menentukan. Tolong lah hari not my bad luck day. Pagi pagi bangun nak gi withdraw duit nak bayar all the saman and buy some books yang tak dibeli lagi. ATM machine dah lah jauh. Panas pulak tu pagi pagi nie. Dah beratur panjang2, tiba2 machine tu teknikal problem pula kata nya. Haih. Pergi cari ustad Bahari. Naik tangga tinggi2 sampai tingkat 3 tapi dia takda pulak. Turun kat ofis pon dia takda. Nak cari lecturer lain, tak tau mane bilik dorang pulak. Wuarkh!!!

Dipendekkan cerita, hari ni dimulakan dengan "not a smile, but a frown"!! Hope boo dah sihat. Semalam tak berapa nak sihat kata nya.

p/s: Boo bangun lah cepat. teman bee. Bosan!

ngeng.

losing faith.

Damn. I'm lost. Again. Dah jauh terpesong ni. Perlu kembali ke pangkal jalan. Don't forget your goals here Phye!! Remember your promises to yourself! Don't let me down again! Gotta pick up the missing pieces. Ya Allah, give me strength to keep up with this life.

Life. A brutal word to me. That gives a million reason to stay alive. Don't let go. Hold on to your grip. Keep on fighting. Gotta let the fighter in me to come out. Don't hold back. Hold on Phye. You can do it. You are a smart girl.

Where's the Phye who always score her goals no matter what? Gotta keep moving on. Don't let other things distract you. Don't ever let the past happen again!! Don't!Don't let them down. You love them, make them happy.

Strength. Support. Faith. I need it. People who love me..help me with all that.

ngeng.

Kenapa??

Tak puas hati! Kenapa dorang tanam MJ cara kristian? Dia kan dah masuk Islam?? Tak puas hati!!

ngeng.

My mom is my bestfriend.

Last Saturday I went out with my parents for a midnight movie kat Cheras Leisure Mall. My dad belanja me, my bro and my mom tengok Transformers 2. Seriously, Michael Bay is going to be damn rich!! Ramai gile orang. Dorang bukak 2 hall for this movie at every hour. And the tickets are all sold out!! Sampai pukul 1 pagi pon still ade orang waiting to watch the movie. Dalam hall movie tu, ada lah satu family ni..sampai ke paksu2 dia pon join. Seating dorang pecah2. One of their son has to seat beside us. Umur macam baru darjah 3 lah. Pastu sorang kat depan, sorang kat belakang, sorang kat tepi. Sanggup tu duduk pecah2 sorang2 just to watch Transformers. And that movie is seriously tiptop!! Pandai betul omputih ni buat cerita. Haish..Malaysia Malaysia...bila nak kuar Cicakman 3??? HAHA. Setakat Cicakman jela yang Malaysia mampu buat. Haih..Kita mmg ketinggalan 30 tahun ke belakang when it comes to making movies.

So, before masuk hall, while waiting for the pintu to bukak, I sat down beside my mom while my dad and my bro pegi mane entah. Borak borak lah dengan my mom sambil dia makan aiskirim dia tu. Entah apa mimpi tiba2 nak aiskirm. BR pulak tuh. Haih..umi umi..tengah tengah borak tu..well..the usual stuff lah. "how's your studies?" how's your assignments" and all that. Tiba tiba dia tanya...

"Ija, kenapa Ija suka Azfar?"

I was like...huh?? Terdiam jap. Nak menyerap pertanyaan dia. Takut takut its a trick question. Then dia tanya lagi..

"What is it about him yang Ija suka?"

I just laugh. Smiling , not knowing what to answer. Bukan tak tahu apa yang nak jawab. Tapi terkejut dengan soalan dia. Tengok muka my mom yang mmg macam nak sangat tahu tu..I started lah to answer.

" Err..herm..dia sweet lah. Then..ehh. Kenapa Ija kena gtau umi? I don't think this is a appropriate topic for me to discuss with you. Ija usually cerita dengan Along or my friends je".

Then my mom jawab " Why not? I'm your bestfriend!"

HAHAHAHA. Aduhaii umi..comel nye lahai. HAHA. Well, she is. But I don't think I should be talking about my boyfriend to her. Macam seganlah. Dahlah my mom ni bukan stock2 yg "cool mom" where you can tell them anything. My mom jenis yang old-fashion. If I tell her stuff about me and Apa, I'm sure banyaklah yang dia nak bebel. Apa drive kete bawak I jalan2 pon dia nak bising dah (cause dia tak suka berduaan je dalam kete or berduaan je kuar. kalau ramai2 takpe). I know mmg patut cakap pasal benda2 cani dgn your mother, but not my mom. She's cool but not that cool. I mean..when I'm getting married, then boleh lah cerita2 cani. But not now.

HAHA. But I really can't forget what she said. HAHA. Comel lah mak aku nie. Perasan pon ada gak kadang kadang. HAHA. I miss you umi. Tunggu Ija nak kahwin kang ea. Then umi nak tanya pape, tanya lah. I'll answer everything. HAHA.

p/s: Thank you umi belikan Ija hp baru.

ngeng.