i keep telling myself, love is just a feeling.

It's often that we heard, friendship comes first before love. Cause love might just be a feeling...friendship on the other hand, is a bonding. And usually, bonding last longer than feeling.

I used to choose friendship over love. I will never blame my friends and will always defend them no matter what, even if it means I have to lose the love of my life - it wasn't the brightest decision I've ever made. Cause now that my real love is gone, I am still lost even my friends are still around. However, thanks you guys for sticking around. Still, I need my love back.

Now that it is on its way, once again, I'm at the crossroads between friendship and love. I was hardly breathing when I lost my love before. Living like a living corpse wasn't the best moment in my life. Should I risk it again ? Will I be making the same mistake ? (Dont get me wrong, it's not that I'm saying choosing friendship over love was a mistake, no ! It's just that, I should have known how to balance both presence in my life. I was biased ) - now, I'm hoping I'm not anymore.

I love you, but I still need my friends around.

ngeng.

yes, i'm offended.

Bukan nak perasan, tapi memang dalam family, antara aku, Farah and Along, aku yg paling kononnya ada rupa lebih sikit dari yang lain. Ini bukan kes angkat bakul sendiri yea, tapi memang diiktiraf dari kaum family. Aku yang lagi terang2 lawa dari Along aku pun, suami dia boleh cakap, "Along lagi lawa dari Erra Fazira"...


Memang statement yang sangat konfiden dari Abg Saiful. Dia sangat sayang Along sampai dia rasa Along lah wanita tercantik di dunia bagi dia. Along is his everything, perfect in every single way. Padahal ada je lemak kiri kanan, hidung kembang sikit lagi dari aku, bontot besar. Tapi Abg Saiful yakin sangat yang Along lagi lawa dari Erra Fazira. Tergelak besar aku dgn Farah masa dgr statement Abg Saiful. Dah kena mandrem ke ape ?? Tapi kitorang tahu, Abg Saiful memang sangat sayangkan Along smpi dia rase Along yang paling terhebat.








Itu, aku sangat kagum.








You see, honesty is very important in every relationship, yes no doubt. But there are certain things yang kita perlu buat untuk jaga hati. Tipu untuk jaga hati takpe, jangan tipu untuk jaga tembelang. Ini baru betul orang kata tipu sunat. Menipu untuk jaga hati tak salah.





Bila aku tanya pada kau, "siapa lagi lawa ? saya ke dia ?.. awak jawab je jujur2.. " ...Don't you know that no matter who do you think is prettier, the answer should be me ? A woman likes to feel appreciated. Likes to be adored. Likes to think as if she's the only person that is everything to a man's heart no matter how many flaws she has. So when you answered "dia".... do you have any idea how frustrated I was ? Lagi-lagi bila tahu kau jujur habis, bukan bergurau. Aku rasa macam aku tak cukup bagus untuk kau. Aku terfikir, dimana ranking aku di mata kau ? Aku yang pertama kah ? Aku tertanya, kau masih ada perasaan pada dia ? Masih punya nafsu dan keinginan mahu kembali bersama dia ? Masih menunggu dia lagi ? Kau buat aku betul betul rasa kat paling bawah sekali. Aku sedar aku bukanlah cantik mana. Memang hodoh pun. But to hear it from the one I trusted most, memang sangat mengecewakan. Siapa lagi yang nak buat aku rasa berharga and bermakna kalau bukan kau ? Tapi kalau kau sendiri yang buat aku rasa tak konfiden dgn diri sendiri, mcm mana aku nak rasa dihargai ? Kau perlu tahu bila, mana, mcm mana, dan apa yang patut and yang tak patut kau buat or cakap bila dengan kekasih.






Yea. Aku memang terasa.

p/s: Cinta mati aku adalah Apa. Aku takkan boleh sayang orang lain mcm mana aku penah sayang Apa.


.
.
.
.
.
.


Apa kau rasa kalau aku keluar statement macam ni depan2 kau ?

ngeng.

adinda the gaga,

I think this kiddo over here tak perlu introduction dah kot. Kalau tahap famous dia dah saing-saing dgn si Bieber tu, tgk gmbr je orang dah tahu siapa lah kann. Kalau Bieber tibe2 ade sebut nama budak ni kat Tweeter, aku pun tk terkejut. Sampai Metro Harian and MHI pun dok dgr berita sal dia (dr kat fb aku dok ckp camni...ade unsur2 jealous ni..keh keh keh ) ... This kiddo over here definitely dah gegarkan satu Malaysia ni dgn statement berani mati dia. Rasanya korang pun dah tau kot apa statemen yg dimksdkan tu. Mmg sgt provokatif, kalah Lady Gaga. Aku taknak comment pasal apa yg dia dah buat in the past, aku just nak comment pasal her brave confession to the public. Reminds me of August last year. Sebab blog, kicau-bilau jadinya. Trust me, I know. My cousin and I almost caused 2 families to torn apart because of what we posted in our blog. I was so stupid back then, like this AdindaEvans kid. *sigh



I mean come on. Skrg dunia siber. Semua info laju je orang dapat. Nak delete permanently the memory pun tkkan sempat. Kau post something yg provokatif, kau pegi dapur buat air 2 minit, pegi kat lappy balik, tau2 dah 1000 orang like/hentam post kau. Especially bloggers, stalkers and etc. Dorang dapat bahan lagi laju dari Metro Harian. Tk payah tggu baba campak paper depan umah pagi2, kau online je, search google pape pun komfem ada. Haih... sometimes, sampai cerita dalam selimut pun orang blh tahu.



I wont judge apa budak ni buat in her past. Kau nak main dgn bf kau ke, nak jadi hotsetap ke ape, I dont give a shit. But when you tell the whole world something that you should just keep it to yourself, nak2 kalo bnd tu smthg yg provokatif, you just have to face the consequences of your action lah. If orang kutuk kau ke ape, terima jelah dah tu yg kau mintak...kalo tak, knp kau berani2 nak post camtu kan ? If orang nasihatkan, dengar. Tu maknanya dorang ambil berat n kesian kat kau. You cannot expect the whole world to be symphatized on you. Biasalah mesti akan ada orang kutuk punya. Kalau dunia ni baik je, tkkan ada undang2, tkkan ada politik, tkkn ade penjara. It's the yin yang of life. Ada baik, ada jahat. And my advise, you should just lay low je skrg ni. Your feedback at your latest post lagi buat orang terasa mengundang nak condemn kau. Kau dah buat statement paling bodoh kat dunia, what makes you think people will accept whatever you have to say after this ?



AdindaEvans, you are still damn young. When I was fourteen, I was busy hanging out with my friends and I dont even know whats the meaning of sex at that time. Cherish your pre teens life. Pergi lah gosip2 dgn budak2 ppuan, minat Justin Bieber ke ape... Sex and adults stuff ni are still too 18sxxxx for you.






Seriously, aku pun taktau what the hell am I doing posting up pasal budak ni. Nampak sgt dah kering idea tktau nak post ape kat blog. Damn.

ngeng.