Monday, January 31, 2011


One confession.





Two smileys that describe your life right now.



I dont really know how to do smileys. Pfft.


Sunday, January 30, 2011


Three turn ons.

There are so many things that can turn me on. These are the most important ones.

1) Body odour. Weird thing about me is that I love to smell my man's armpit. The smellier it gets, the more turn on I am.

2) Boobies. I like hot girls.

3) To see my man do something he's good in.



Four turn offs.

Guys, please please don't have these 4 things.

1) Bossy.

2) Hot tempered.

3) Non stop talking.

4) Stupid stupid lame jokes that ain't funny at all.



Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)

1) My family esp my mom, my dad and Zafran !
2) Orang tua sayang.
3) Diane, Anis, Amal.
4) Fie, Dayang, Anoi, Syira.
5) Didi, Hatim, Nabil.

I list them in categories. Not particularly one person.



Six things you wish you'd never done.

I hate regrets. But then, regrets taught me a lot in life eventhough I somehow tend to repeat it over and over again. All these things, I wish I can turn back time and undo it.

1) I wish I never betray my little sister, Gurl.

2) I wish I was never a lesbo.

3) This thing no 3 is something very private.

4) I wish I never pray in that small room in STF.

5) I wish I didn't eat too much after broke up with Syafiq when I was 13 years old. Cause that was when I started to gain weight.

6) I wish I never hit my mom when we were fighting when I was 13 years old.



Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

1) My love life.

2) Kiamat and hereafter.

3) Money.

4) My future.

5) Ciggies.

6) Studies.

7) Marriage.



Eight ways to win your heart.

It's not that hard to impress me. I think it'll be less than eight ways. But I'll think of something...don't worry..I'm not that fussy.

1) Don't be too nice. I hate it when a guy shows it too much that he loves me more than he should. I like it when a guy plays " hard to get " but when in reality, he loves me so damn much. Show a lil bit of ego. A little bit only. Cause I tend to feel "rimas" with too nice guys.

2) Give full attention to me. Especially when we are on a date or just hanging out with friends. I hate it when a guy constantly check his phone or texting all the time when he's with me. I mean, hello ??? I'm infront of you. Who could possibly be more important than me that you has to entertain at that particular time ??

3) I like surprises. It doesn't have to be with presents or stuff. Just by coming and see me in certain occasion when I'm not expecting it is more than just enough.

4) Sweet talks. * but not too sweet yang mcm jiwang keparat ke ape. I mean just a simple but sweet, sweet talks. I feel more appreciated.

5) If a guy wants me, show some effort. Not the other way round. Prove to me that he actually is for real and want to take us to the next level.

6) Knows how to make me laugh. Especially when I'm in certain mood that needs to be calm. Like when I'm angry, or crying or just feeling a bit gloomy...all that emotions can just go away when he makes jokes. And please, not stupid jokes !

7) Acknowlegde my presence. Introduces me to his friends and family *family kalau dah serious sangat lah. Bring me along to any activities that he and his friends are attending. Like watching a football match or whatsoever. Doesn't have to be all the time. I get it that guys like their quality time with their friends. But, once in a while, when I'm not busy or has nothing to do at all, bring me along. I hate it when a guy feels like bringing me along is leceh or malas. It's as if he do not take me seriously.

8) Be gentleman. I hate rude guys. Pentingkan the term "ladies first". Like when we go out, be a gentleman by picking me up and sent me back home safely. If he really do care about me, I'm sure he'll make sure of my safetyness aite ? And plus, it is more appropriate that way bila bawak anak dara orang keluar jalan jalan kata my mom. Haha.

It's not that hard to win my heart kan ??



Nine things about yourself.

1) I can be a bit spoilbratt sometimes.

2) I'm clingy.

3) I'm the youngest in my family. So yeah, I do get pampered a lot.

4) I'm not that spenthrift. Definitely not a shopaholic.

5) I can cook and I lololove to cook !

6) I love to eat too. I can eat non stop, all day long.

7) My fav no is 14.

8) I don't eat biscuits, breads or chocolates unless if I suddenly crave for it.

9 ) Have a soft spot for guys with braces or afro hair :)



Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.

1) I love you orang tua - Shin Chan

2) Fcuk you sis ! I should have punched you harder the other day - My sis, Farah

3) I love you, but please stop nagging mom ! - My mom.

4) Can you please leave him alone ? I love him and you already have a bf. Go away - T.J.

5) I need you so bad. I miss you so much - Diane.

6) You talk too much - Ami.

7) Can I get married early ? - My Dad.

8) What's with the constant texting lately ? - Cham.

9) I hope you're okay with everything - Didi Abg Syg.

10) We have 2 freaking quizzes tomorrow - Fie.


Diane's surveys.

I'm freaking bored right now. So I decided to do Diane's surveys. Day one til day ten.

Day One : Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
Day Two : Nine things about yourself.
Day Three : Eight ways to win your heart.
Day Four : Seven thing that cross your mind a lot.
Day Five : Six things you wish you'd never done.
Day Six : Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever)
Day Seven : Four turn offs.
Day Eight : Three turn ons.
Day Nine : Two smileys that describe your life right now.
Day Ten : One confession.

I know according to it, we have to do it in each day for ten days. But I'm so freaking bored right now, I think I can do it all in just one night. Just pretend that I do it accordingly k...


shin chan :)

Nak cakap.. tapi segan. Taknak awak kembang.

Dari mula saya kenal awak, sampai sekarang, baru 2 bulan kot. Tapi banyak sgt perubahan awak. Muda 3 tahun penampilan awak sekarang. Masa hari Jumaat tu, saya terkejot tengok awak bila jumpa kat tuuuut.. Cair hati saya. Betul betul terpikat.... :)

Tapi macam mana pun awak, saya tetap sayang awak. ;)

p/s: Suka yang badan besar.


Thursday, January 27, 2011

sober for 365 days a year

Dah taknak cakap ape ape. Aku buat terus ! Maafkan aku buat kau kecewa sangat. Takde lagi janji manis. Aku takkan berkata apa. Yang cuma, harapan menggunung aku untuk kau lihat sendiri. Orang kata jangan berubah sebab orang lain. Berubah sebab diri sendiri. Tapi makin aku rasakan, orang lain bisa jadi titik permulaan setiap penghijrahan, Dan mungkin, kau lah titik aku itu. Yea aku akan berhijrah. Mungkin tak besar, tapi cukup untuk aku buktikan pada kau yang aku, bukan lah perempuan yang hanya pandai berkata. Okay stop sini.

Nanti kata aku ayat manis.


Wednesday, January 26, 2011

please don't linger around anymore,

I don't know why, this past few days, I keep thinking about him. The other one. The old one. Of the good and bad things. I don't know wether this is me missing him or this is me just thinking about him. What's the difference ? Herm.. Before I proceed, may I say to whom it may concern... sayang, if you're reading this, please don't be offended. I'm over him, just that suddenly I feel like blogging about him. And I promise you, this post means nothing at all. I have love you now, and only you, no one else.
Jangan terase yea org tua ? Saya sayang awak je tau.

27 Jan 2011, 2.10 a.m

" Aku dihantui dgn ap yg kau bwt. Lynan gampang kau yg bwt aku mcm anjing, kecurangan kau. Evn aku baek dgn yana skrg, aku ttp akn tringat ap kau bwt stiap kali pndg die. Seteruk2 aku, tkpnh skali pn aku curang kt kau. Aku tkdendam dgn kau tp smpi mati aku akn egt. "

27 Jan 2011, 2.37 a.m

" Aku tgh dgr lgu yakinlah aku menjemputmu. Hmm..kau tetap cinta mati aku pa..kau tetap yg trbaik. Satu bnd aku tkkn lupakan spnjg couple dgn kau..mata kau setiap kali sbelum tido ms same2 kau pndg...aku nmpk kau nk ckp yg kau sayang aku sgt smpi mati..thanks 4 evrythg pa..sbb pnh sayang aku sgt2. Mgkin tkkn ad org yg blh sayang aku mcm kau sayang aku.. Ampunkan segala salah silap dan lynan gampang aku kt kau selama ni. Aku rindu sgt nak pgl kau boo..smpi mati aku tkkn lupakn kau..true love aku. Jaga diri azfar..aisetilefyu. "

Those are the texts I gave him last night. Dan itu..adalah message terakhir aku untuk kau...kerna aku dah lepaskan segalanya. Segala kenangan dan segala kehadiran kau dalam hidup aku. Walaupun sekilas, aku lepaskan semuanya. Aku teruskan perjalanan hidup aku dengan orang baru yg hadir menemani aku. Biarpun bukan aku yg terpenting dalam hidup si dia, tapi aku redha kalau ini balasanNya untuk aku. Aku ampunkan dosa kau pada aku..dan aku pohon kemaafan kau juga. Moga suatu hari nnt, kita boleh bertentang mata tanpa punya apa perasaan dan mampu tersenyum tanda hormat. Jaga diri.


Tuesday, January 25, 2011

i love you to death is not that cliche to me,

Kalau orang yang taktau cerita, akan suruh aku blahh.

" Jangan jadi bodoh Phye. Kalau sayang, bukan mcm tu caranya. Kenapa kau sanggup dia ada yang kedua? "

Apa yang dorang taktau, when I look into his eyes, I see the sincerity. I know that he loves me too...just as much as I love him. Sometimes aku pon wonder betul ke dia sayang aku ? Tapi bila tengok mata dia, aku nampak. Taktau lah if this is just me being wishful thinking. But what makes it hard for him to just have me in his life, I think because he doesn't feel secure yet. I mean..apa jaminan nya yang aku takkan tinggalkan dia ? He once told me that he can leave everything behind..but what if one day, I cheated on him ? What if one day, I found another guy and leave him all alone ? I have no answer for that. All I know is that, I love him so much and nothing can ever change my feelings toward him. I really do want the only thing that can do us apart is death. I know this sounds so cliche and only happens in movies...but yeah, I really do hope that only death do us apart.

Saya takde ayat manis atau kata jaminan nak bagi kat awak. Tapi saya harap awak tau yang saya takde orang lain and takkan biarkan siapa2 pun bertakhta di hati saya melainkan awak. No matter how temptatious the temptation would be, my heart only belongs to you. And I will keep it that way. I'm not an angel. I'm only human...saya hanya boleh buat apa yang termampu. The rest, is up to you.

Please be fair to me. For 7 years you can be faithful to someone else whom you love to death, physically and emotionally. Why can't you now ? You have nothing to lose cause I won't dissapoint you.


Sunday, January 23, 2011

aku lg suka mkn pedal dari mkn hati,

Sometimes you can be very disrespectful. Tapi aku tahan. Because this is what I put myself into. People warned me before. Even you too. It's okay... Aku tak makan hati pun. Tapi lama-lama nanti kurus lah aku. Turun lagi 10 kg. Thanks lah. Awak memang terbaik ! Sebab tu saya sayang awk sangat sangat ! muah muah muah !!!!


Monday, January 17, 2011

if only...

If only I can sing to you.
If only I can run with you.
If only we can hold hands.
If only I can kiss you whenever I want.
If only I can hug you and never let go.
If only I can be with you all day long.
If only I can have you for myself.
If only we don't have to hide anything.
If only the world knows that I love you.
If only they know we are in love.
If only I'm the only one.

If only you were mine...

If only....

I'll wait till the day comes, and be the happiest person on earth. I love you sayang.


Friday, January 14, 2011

nights for you.

I hate waiting for people even if I'm not told to do so. I wish you would just open your eyes and see me. Sometimes, I feel unappreciated. Herm.


Wednesday, January 12, 2011


Sometimes you make me feel sick of you. I don't know you anymore. Or I'm just beginning to ? Either way, I don't like what I'm seeing. You're becoming this selfish bitch that I really hate. And it's a shame..cause I thought you're my friend ? I'm just so tired of your shits okay ? So please, go find another ghost. Thank you.


Tuesday, January 11, 2011

this feeling is not for you.

Dalam kelas, lecturer bebel panjang, fikiran kau melayang.

Drive pulang rumah, meniti lebuhraya penuh kereta, fikiran kau menyesal.
Bermain bola di padang, kawan-kawan ramai, fikiran kau mengharap kewujudan aku.
Baring di dalam bilik, mata mula terpejam, fikiran kau tertanya mengapa.
Saat kau sendirian hari-hari. Penyesalan, persoalan tak sudah.
Rindu, sayang, benci, geram.
Sudah terlambat.
Dulu intan permata kau ada, kau siakan.
Sekarang kau tuduh itu semua kaca.
Nasi sudah jadi bubur.
Usah kau ratapi..aku lepaskan kau pergi.

Kisah kita sudah lama berlalu. Aku aman kini...bahagia aku makin hampiri. Kenangan tetap aku hargai. Semoga berjaya. Aku akan tetap doakan yang terbaik utk kau. Jaga diri.


my type

I'm a simple girl. I never ask too much in anything. Do you want to know what makes me fall for a guy ? If that guy has all these 4 characteristics....

1- Tak keding ! Sebab aku suke peluk and dipeluk. Nak berpeluk dengan orang keding bapaklah rase cam peluk kayu je... turn off !!

2- Ada kereta ! Tak kesah la kereta apa pun..kancil skalipun aku terima je asal boleh bergerak dengan senang. Bukan nak kata materialistik..tapi kalau boleh bila nak jumpa tu senang lah ade transport. Takat duit minyak and tol, boleh tong2 kan..

3- Pandai amek hati aku ! Boleh buat aku gelak even aku tengah sedih or marah...sebab aku suka gelak..suka nak janganlah nak serious sangat je kan...

4- Biarlah rahsia !! Hhahahaha....keyword jela, pandai layan aku :)

Haaaaa so sape agak- agaknya ada all 4 characteristics, datang minang terosss ! hee :p


kau depan aku.

Orang cakap, bila kita jatuh cinta buat kali pertama, semua rasa kita serahkan pada si dia. Sampai takde ape lg yg tinggal dalam diri. Bila cinta tidak kesampaian dan bertemu orang baru, perasaan yang pernah ada dengan kekasih lama, mustahil utk ada dengan kekasih baru. Sayang ye, cinta mungkin ye. Tapi utk sampai ke tahap maksimum seperti sebelum ini, mustahil utk perasaan itu wujud kembali.

Aku mungkin bukan yang pertama. Kau juga bukan. Rasa dalam diri mungkin belum maha. Ayat boleh disusun semanis mungkin, tapi itu hakikat dan aku sedang berlaku jujur. Tapi yang pasti, aku sayang kau...dan kau adalah orang yang cocok utk aku serahkan semula semua yang pernah ada dalam diri ini. Pinta aku, percayailah aku, kataku bukan dusta, niat aku bukan sandiwara. Buka hati kau...lihat sekeliling. Aku ada di depan kau. Jangan langkahkan mata. We never know what's infront of us until it's gone. Kan ?


Saturday, January 8, 2011

tears of joy,

*ringtone Parachute by Cheryl Cole

P: " Hello ? "
A: " Sayang... ? "
P: " Yea... ? "
A: " I love you "

Dubbbbb ! *hati jatuh....cair. you know that sometimes you can be soooo cute ??? With that simple 3 words, you make me melt at every inch of my heart. I'm so touched I feel like crying. Do I really capture your heart sayang ? Do you really love me that much ? * mcm bintang di langit....( okay itu sangat jiwang...but I get the point and I lololove it ! hahahaha )

Heyy guess what ? I LOVE YOU MORE ! Yeah I do, so effin much ! :)


sempurna itu bukan aku.

Aku tak secantik Balqis. Hati tak setulus Zulaikha. Kudrat lemah tak sekuat Sarah. Dan tak seistimewa Khadijah. Aku manusia jijik yang penuh dengan kecacatan dan penyesalan. Seluas alam keburukan.

Aku takut. Saat kau mengenali sifat hodoh aku, masihkah kau sudi menyayngi aku seperti mana sekarang ? Pinta aku satu, jangan pernah hilang.... :'(


Wednesday, January 5, 2011

dont toss my love in the trash.

Please don't leave me. I love you so much.

Ada orang tanya semalam.... " kau sanggup tunggu dia sampai setahun ? " Menunggu orang aku sanggup. Nak tahan, secara jujur, aku taktau. Tapi kalau sesuatu itu berbaloi, sampai mati pun aku sanggup. Herm. Ayat manis kan aku ? Tak. Ini tekad aku.

Kulit aku tebal, hati aku kebal. Takpe.


Tuesday, January 4, 2011

watch me burn.

This is the second time I stayed up for things that really dissapoint me in life. It's almost 7 am and I just can't sleep thinking how much things really screw up in my life. I hate being honest. I hate being faithful to someone that just ain't worth it. I wish I could stay away from heartbreakers. I really wish I could. But it seems like I always end up with one and had a broken heartache. You see, I was trying to play with fire without getting burned. I guess it's just impossible. I'm giving up. Unless if you give me reasons, solid reasons why I should not.


Saturday, January 1, 2011

great new year.

Had my new year kiss from the one I want it to be. My new year wish came true.

Thanks sayang. I love you :)