one step back.

Today my family is having a family dinner to celebrate Along's birthday and my dad's promotion. He is invited. And I've informed him days ago... and he said "tengoklah dulu"....
And today is the day, but then no one is saying a word to anyone. Not to the fact that our relationship is on the rocks now, but then I think, it is still too early. I don't want to repeat the same mistake I did with my ex before. Meeting the parents is a big step. It can bring different meaning. It's time for me to face reality. Yeah we can plan about the future. "Lagi berapa tahun mahu nikah ? Tunang nak berapa tahun ? Nak kahwin kat mana ? Nak duduk mana ? Kerja apa ? Anak nak berapa orang ? " Plan lah macam macam. But the reality is that, kalau takde jodoh, tak kemana jugak.....


So I'm taking things slow. After what had happened, I almost lose him. Or I almost walk away... My dreams would be shattered. All the things I berangan with him would vanished just like that. And plus, I don't think he would want to meet my family now either. Our relationship lately is as cold as ice. We're giving each other time to recover from what had happened. And I'm telling you, I miss us so much. fucking much...


Ramai orang cakap, "babe, you are still too young for commitments" .... First I thought, that is all I ever wanted. To settle down fast and have a normal happy family lifestyle. But then as reality checks in, I realise, maybe they are right. Banyak benda terbentang depan mata yang belum aku terokai. I should live my life to the fullest. An it would have been nice if I can do all that with you by my side. So, I'm replanning my lifetime plan again. There's a lot of construction needed. I'm trying to be strong now. No more blood and tears.

ngeng.