Tuesday, March 30, 2010
I'm a loyal team.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
4 yang fantastic.
Saturday, March 27, 2010
A crack reflection.
"Trust is just like a mirror. You can fix it if its broken. But you can still see a crack in that motherfucker reflection"
For those yang aku trust sangat sangat, yang aku cerita semua rahsia aku, yang tahu semua rahsia aku, please don't let me see you as if you are a crack mirror. Just remember that karma always comes around.
Siapa yg makan cili, dia lah terasa pedas nye.
This is my way of saying ï miss you"
Beautiful boy.
Dayang, aku sayang mamat nie. Sepanjang relationship kitorang, ramai yang datang dan pergi dari hidup aku. Tapi mamat ni lah yang stay dengan aku. Faithful to me all the time even after what I did to him. Dia dengan separuh dari kawan kawan aku memang tak sebulu. Tapi yang separuh tu jugaklah antara yang datang dan pergi dari hidup aku.
Mungkin cara aku jumpa dia tak elok. Yelah kitorang jumpa pun kat tempat elok. Dulu, sama sama buat benda bodoh. Sama sama culture shock. Tapi dengan dia jugak lah aku stop semua benda yang not good for me. Mamat ni lah yang ajar aku macam macam. Mamat ni lah hero aku, yang selalu protect aku bila mana aku perlukan dia. Walaupun kadang kadang ape yang dia buat agak keterlampauan, tapi dia buat semua tu sebab dia sayang aku sangat sangat. Aku tahu.
Mamat ni lah yang aku harapkan ada untuk aku in the future. I trust him. I know he can give me the life I dream for in the future. He can be a good husband and a great father to my children. Andai kata jodoh aku bukan dengan dia, aku tetap hope the best for him.
Aku sayang dia sangat sangat. Kau tahu segala apa aku buat dayang. Kau ada, kau nampak. Mungkin kau akan argue semua tu dengan perasaan sayang aku kat dia. Aku takde explaination. Apa aku tahu, walau apa pun, kat hati aku ada mamt ni sorang je.
It has been one year 2 months kitorang together. It's the longest period I've ever been with a guy my entire life. I know he can be the one for me.
Dayang..aku sayang mamat ni...aku sayang Azfar Zahin anak Amzah.
Hatim balik please!
Tak! Aku tak takut. Aku tau aku benar. Mungkin aku berdebar sebab tak tahu cane nak buat reaksi yang konon tenang dan cool depan orang yang dah buat taik paling besar sekali dalam hidup aku. Okay aku akan TRY control. Bak kate Hatim, "kau wat lek je Phye"...okok. Hope gile nanti takde adegan adegan buruk aku. HaiSH.
TAK TAK TAK!! Aku tak boleh. Aku tau aku tak blh! Aku taknak sedapkan hati aku!! Hatim!!! Kau kena turun Nilai! Aku takblh dowh berdepan dgn lahanat tu!! Aku need kau! Tolonglah balik Hatim. Please. Kau orang first yang tau pasal ni. Aku trust kau. Aku need kau utk teman aku nnt. Tolong!!!!! Takot takot takot........aku rasa cam aku keseorangan je nnt. Aku perlu kau utk support aku tem!!! Balik please!
Kata Fynn Jamal.
Yang pertama, orang yang memang tahu dia jahat.
Yang kedua, orang yang tak sedar dia sebenarnya jahat.
Haa. Mana satu yang korang rasa lagi dahsyat? Aku bersependapat dengan Fynn Jamal. Harus lagi peka dan takut pada jenis yang kedua. Cause it can be anybody or everybody.
It can be your own bestfriend.
It can be your own flesh and blood.
And what's worse, it can be your ownself.
And that's what I'm afraid off. -sigh-
But then, when we argue being "jahat"..in what sense exactly? Jahat ada banyak maksud. Ada banyak kategori. Is nakal consider as jahat too? Jahat yang memang ada criminal record? Jahat yang suka buat benda benda yang obviously agaisnt the law? Jahat yang suka menganiaya orang lain? Jahat yang buat khianat?
Jahat apa???
Apa apa pun definition jahat, I'll make sure that I'm not into any of it. Nakal mungkin yea. Haha. Sape tak pun kan?
Tapi memang betul kata Fynn. Orang jahat kategori yang kedua memang patut ditakuti. Dan kita harus sentiasa berwaspada. Kerna aku sendiri dah terkena. Pengajaran untuk aku.
p/s: Tengah tggu DAYANG balik keje setelah seharian penat meniup lilin pulak!! HAHA
Friday, March 26, 2010
A lesson for you.
Baba ku sayang...habaq sikit kat depa ape chek penah habaq dulu kat hang??!!
I'm a tough bitch!! Yeahhh babehhh!!
Kau pikir kau buat kat aku kau boleh lepas? Ahh boleh jalan daa!! Tak cara A, cara B aku buat. Hesh. Blog aku sekarang penuh dgn kaler merah. Kaler yang menunjukkan kebencian dan kemarahan aku. Sebab kau blog aku jahanam! Hesh kenapa lah aku nak cacatkan blog aku dgn cerita pasal kau ea?? Dah dah. No more dah pasni. Pasal kau, memang tak worth it! Okay pasni jom kita ceria ceria riang ria di Hari Raya!! Cakap pasal raya..umi dah semangat ajak aku shopping baju raya. Umi oii...raya lambat lg. Puasa ganti pun tak start2 ni haa. HAHA!
p/s: Dalam hal ni, takde sape menang sape kalah. Yang ada siapa benar siapa salah. Aku terpaksa lakukan yang tragis demi pengajaran untuk semua termasuk aku.
Wednesday, March 24, 2010
Sialan handalan.
p/s: Baru aku kenal siapa sebenarnya setan bertopengkan manusia.
Saturday, March 20, 2010
GeMOK tak sedar diri!!!
Bold headed man.
Kini, walau kita sudah lama berlalu, aku ada satu pertanyaan pada kau.
"Muhjse dosti karoge?" HAHAHAHAHA!!
Betul kata Muhammad Daniel. Tak salah kalau berkawan. Dan wahai Muhammad Daniel, aku tetap taknak mengaku aku "penipu"!! Hehe.
I'm just too clueless.
You said we are friends. And that you love me. But what does "friend" means to you actually? Just a person who hangs out and have fun together? Or a person you hide everything from? I'm not the kind of person who can satisfy your every needs and just understand what are your feelings whenever it feels something. I can see that you are upset abput something but how would I know what is it about if you don't tell me? And why am I the one to bare all the cluelessness and the ignorance from you? I seriously have no clue at all. I'm very upset and dissapointed. It's like I am being blame of something that I know nothing off.
I hate it when I have to hide being nice or friendly with other people because someone else just can't understand that we are close because we are ONLY FRIENDS. Nak call pun kena sorok2, tak blh bagitau orang lain yang kitrg ber calling2, ber msg2. Kalau gtau, mula lah ade conflict lain. It start with main main tapi lama lama, mcm jadi betol2 pulak sampai nak merajuk bagai. It's like Im not being trusted! I've been trying to avoid but then when I think about it again, why should I ? We are all friends and that someone else should just believe it. Take your jealousy or whatever it is to somewhere else please cause I seriously, won't backstabb my own friend for some stupid matter. Come on lahh. They can say it's nothing or that they are okay about it but we all know they're bluffing cause they are acting the other way round. I'm soo not gonna get myself into "frienship
= love triangle complications" cause it's just too dumb.
Hatim and Anese cakap "kau kena pikir diri kau jugak Phye. Kalau pikir orang lain je, kau jugak yang serabot2. So baik pikir diri sndri dulu baru pikir org lain"...masalah nya Hatim, Anese, even aku pikir orang lain pun, tapi orang lain tak reti nak appreciate, and ending nya aku jugak yang kena tempias, ape guna nya? Pikir orang lain pun cakap aku pikir diri sndri. Masalah lah cani. Aku suka berkawan. Memang aku suka flirt gak. Tapi bukan dengan kawan kawan sendiri. Euw geli je. Aku tak penah ade scandal or couple dgn membe2 sendiri. So what makes you think I will now??
p/s: Please don't leave me clueless.
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Checkmate.
The day before heaven comes.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Beat it !!
>>>>>>>Back to my point.
I'm young (sure korang nak cakap berapa kali nak kena ulang kan? mampos lah. haha) and I like to have fun. I like to try something new. I like to explore things that I'm interested in. I like to do things that normal girls (okay maybe not that normal, but typical lah) like to do. Not conformism, just that I like to update myself with latest trend or whatever. And most of all, I like to flirt. Yess I do. I like to flirt. Sorry kalau ada yang sakit hati baca apa aku tulis ni, tp itu mmg aku. Sampai ada orang tu bagi aku lagu Yank- Wali band lah kann?? Makan dalam ouh lagu tu!!
Ye kau boleh cakap mata aku stereo. Lihat ke kiri, ke kanan macam lagu Emang Dasar tu. Aku bukan gatal. No I'm not. Being flirtish and having an itch that only guys can scratch is two DIFFERENT thing!! I like to meet new people and make some connections. The thing is..when we are having too much fun, people seem to get the wrong idea about our intention. They tend to judge us as if we are some scumbags who are just all over themselves. Herm ape aku merepek ni pun aku tak paham. Whatever it is, screw whatever people wanna say. Either its good or bad, suka hati korang lah. Ape aku tau, I'm just living up my life.
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Get me high.
Yank
saat kamu mau bicara
dan ku akan cerita semua
apa mauku, siapa dirinya
karna memang tak ada yang lain
terus hubungiku lagi
jangan bilang ini yang terakhir
aku ngerti kamu, kamu ngerti aku
aku sayang kamu selamanya
Cukup manja aku nyanyi untuk kau.
Azfar Zahin anak Amzah. Saya sayang awak. Saya tau saya banyak buat awak sakit. Baik sakit diluar, mahu pun di dalam. Kadang-kadang, kita tak sedar apa yang ada depan mata kita sampai lah ia hilang. Tapi awak memang sentiasa sedar. Dan saya sangat bodoh kerana tak reti menghargainya. Biarpun apa orang nak kata pasal awak, biarpun nama awak buruk pada orang sekarang, saya tahu, awak jadi macam itu sebab awak sayang kan saya sangat sangat. Saya minta maaf sebab tak berjaya nak berikan awak kebahagiaan yang awak impikan dari saya. Saya minta maaf sebab saya tak berjaya nak sentiasa setia pada awak. Saya minta maaf sebab tak reti menghargai awak. Tapi walau apa pun, awak tetap dan masih yang paling terbaik dan terhebat saya pernah dapat.
Terima kasih awak. :)
ngeng.
Sunday, March 7, 2010
It comes naturally.
Emang dasar!
Saturday, March 6, 2010
58kg is just a number.
p/s: Lemak aku terkuar. Apa cakap "ni nak bawak pergi mane?" while pointing at it. WTF? Makan dalam ni.
Look at this FATTY!!
Alice's nightmare.
I had a nightmare yesterday. I was sleeping and then nampak hantu while I was sleeping. Kira cam mimpi dalam mimpi. And I was shaking in that dream. I screamed. Taktau lah in real life I was actually screaming ke tak. But it was scary. As if I saw a real ghost. Taknak mimpi macam tu lagi....takut!!
p/s: Watching Alice in Wonderland ended up me having a real nightmare too. I want my mommy. :))
Hug me and don't let go.
Izinkan aku berlutut mengharap kau tuk kembali
Friday, March 5, 2010
Gratitudeness of the heart.
Bukan tamparan ape pun. Tamparan berita je. Saje je nak cite gebang sikit. Hehe. Well, last two days, while having dinner with Umi and Ayah..suddenly Umi asked me the golden question...
"Ija nak ikut Umi pegi umrah tak? Umi ingat kalau ada rezeki lebih Umi nak belanja Ija pergi umrah. Kaabah macam dah memanggil manggil Umi lah."
OMG!! Umi, kaabah memanggil manggil Umi. Not me. Kaabah will definitely tak memanggil manggil orang macam Ija.
Aku terdiam, tersengih lepas Umi tanya aku macam tu. I did not know what to answer. Aku excited pun ada cause actually memang dah lama aku nak pergi Mekah. Dari kecik aku tak sabar nak pergi. Tapi tu masa kecik. Now aku dah besar..bukan taknak pergi tapi....yang sebenarnya,
........AKU TAKUT NAK PERGI!!!
Wuarkh!!!!! And tadi Umi tanya Along is it okay if she brings me along for Umrah. Along pulak pergi menyokong cakap yang aku memang sangat sangat perlu pergi ke sana!! WTF? Wuarkh...Nak pergi mmg nak. Sapa yang taknak kan?? Bukan selalu dapat pergi. Unless kalau Mekah tu sebelah rumah aku je, mmg takkesah lah bila bila pun nak pergi. Tapi takutlah. Orang selalu cakap before nak pergi tempat suci, kemas kemas kan diri dulu..make sure diri kita bersih dan suci.. Tapi dengan aku perangai macam ni..berupaya ke aku nak buat semua tu? Macam macam cerita aku pernah dengar. Aku takutlah....Perasaan takut ni..lagi takut dari nak amek SPM, lagi takut dari nak kena rotan, lagi takut dari kantoi merayau, lagi takut dari ape ape perasaan takut aku penah rasa. Do you feel me???????
I'm thinking..give me time to think...
p/s: Still thinking.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Where is the love ?
I just finished reading Akmar's blog. Sedih!! Heartbreaking!! I called Pokyea right away after that and read to him what she wrote. (Sorry if kau marah Akmar, but he has to know what are your feelings rite now)...and he said "Aku still sayang dia lah..babi lah. AKU SAYANG DIA! "
See?? This is another case of "I love you but I can't be with you cause it's just too complicated" !!! And in the end ape jadi??? Masing masing sakit. Masing masing pedih. Masing masing merana.
WHERE IS THE LOVE YAWWW??!!!
It's there. But it's complicated. I know. Well stop being a pussy and make things simple will yaa?? It can be as easy as it sound. I know it can!!!
Pokyea, Akmar, korang dah together since first sem lagi. Dah 1 year lebih korang. Please...tolong..aku tahap merayu ni..please get back together. Aku tak sanggop dowh tgk korang macam ni cause seriously, aku pon rasa sekali ape korang rase and it's damn heartbreaking!!!!!!!
Wan, Dayang...tolong lah. Kita dah bersama since korang mula couple lagi. And WE ALL were there masa first night Dayang overnight for Wan. And WE ALL were there the moment Dayang ended her relationship with Syed to be with Wan. We all were there!!!
Where is the love people??? Tolong lah. It's heartbreaking. Even it's not happening to me, but I can feel the pain too!!
Just get over yourselves and ignore all the bullshit and just be together and be happy like we used too!! (Of course, some new limits and behaviour must be set first to ensure the firmness of the relationship in future). Why must you make your life miserable???
Please please. Why can't we just be like before? Please...
p/s: I'm still crying... :)))
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
9 in the morning.
Ajak Sheshe Dila Dayang sume konon sen takde lah ape lah. Tapi dok cakap rindu. Tensi aku.
Takde rasa nak blogging pon actually. Saje je nak highlight yang aku bgn bapak awal hari ni. Record syiall ! Selalu nya lepas azan asar baru aku nak celik mata. HAHA ! Haish teruk nya lah perangai anak dara ni.
Best lah bangun pagi. Macam macam boleh buat. Huhu !
And this is for you Dayang.
I like this guy. I've been waiting for him. Everytime he comes back, I'm the most excited person on earth. But if fate says you guys are meant for each other, so be it. After all, I'm the rotten one. You are the good girl every good guy dreamed to be with. Who am I to complain rite? Herm.
ngeng.
Fake jealousy
Aah aku declare sekarang. Aku jealous! Sangat sangat. HAHA.
Takpelah. Kau pun memang tahu aku agak suka dia. Infact, you're the first person (I think the only person) yang tau aku cam suka dia. Suka? Tak lah. Suka cara dia je. Cara dia yang gila gila tu. I like talking to him cause he always have the solutions to all my problems. His wise thinking that makes me feel comfortable with him whenever he's around.
You're my friend. He's my friend too. I know you won't do such things
p/s: I can be overparanoid sometimes. And it's damn annoying. HAHA !
Monday, March 1, 2010
You are just like a Chipsmore.
Datang bila nak. Hilang bila taknak. Wah hebat kau yea orang tua? Salah guna kuasa pada yang muda. Takpe. Kau tunggu sampai saat aku pula yang bermaharajalela.
I'm beginning to think that one is better than two. Am I being prejudice? In this case, I just don't care anymore.
p/s: You are just like a Chipsmore. Still, Chipsmore is my favourite. So you're forgiven.