Friday, August 21, 2009

Sir, I surrender.

The thing is..I'm fucking tired to feel guilty. I'm fucking tired of wanting to make it up to you. If you don't want it, fine then. I'm just not gonna let it bother me. Not anymore. I used to think about it everytime I open my eyes, every second I breathe, every step I take. Until it effects me. My studies, my life, my everything. You want to throw me away? Fine. I'm just not gonna beg anymore. Enough. This whole thing trying to make things right isn't working and I'm fucking tired to convince myself that everything is going to be okay. I need to wake up and face the fact that it is not.

"people tend to let us down. That's why I try not to need anything from anyone"

Dyane used to put these words in her old blog. I'm holding on to it now. As the courage I need when I'm down and feeling lonely without her and without my sisters. I'm not gonna throw myself to those who doesn't want me in their life anymore. So..I'm moving on. However, thank you for all those great moments I had with you guys. Love you always. And will still be here no matter what. Just not waiting anymore. Cause yeah. I gave up.


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