Saturday, May 15, 2010

Ghosts from the past.

I just found one of my old friend's profile on Facebook. Farhana Osman or better known as FO. She was one of my bestfriend back in SBU. The thing is... I know I should be excited about adding her into my friends list but then why it took me almost 10 minutes to actually press "enter "?

You see... SBU..or a.k.a Seri Bintang Utara was my former school before STF. I was in SBU for about 7 years until I have to leave for STF on August when I was Form 1. SBU was one of the top school in Malaysia I guess and was damn well-known in K.L..It's like CBN-famous-kind-of-stuff except SBU was the rivalry or so I heard it was. You's like STF vs TKC ?? But the only different between SBU and STF was that...SBU was to say this...was like...Constance in GG !! Yeah, you get it right ? I mean rich kids, queenbees, cool kids, cruel intentions, paris hilton wannabees, cheerleading, hot boyfriends, parties and stuff like that.

And all that is soooo not me !! Well, atleast not anymore ! I mean I had like great friends there but still can't top off those I had in STF. Cause to me..being in SBU was like faking my ownself. I had to be like you know.....fake ! When I actually just want to speak in Malay without having to have the english slangs kononnya I'm not that fluent in my own bahasa ibunda. And I wish I don't have to join the cheerleading just to fit in ! And I just want to go back staright home instead of hanging out with a bunch of St John and V.I boys at McD Masjid Jamek on every Friday ! I did all these just to fit in cause I'm not a "mat salleh celup"or yang perasaan they are. That is why I was kinda the " perasan diva" masa mula-mula kat STF. Terbawak-bawak perangai SBU ke STF. And thank God! Eventhough STF was quite a living hell too, but still... I learn a lot about "real world" from there.

Yeah. I know. I had some serious self-esteem problem back then.

So..I'm afraid that if I add her, then we'll be hanging out again, and I have to do what I do best all over again ! I mean..last time I saw FO was in 2007 at the prom and trust me...I was the first person to leave the event that night. I was not comfortable having to impress everyone. But..FO was different than the others. She's less judgemental...or not. But when it comes to being real, she gets it. Haih... I just don't wanna look back.


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