Thursday, May 13, 2010

I'm not angry. I just miss you.

My friend called and told me about your post. So for the first since 3weeks I guess...aku bukak blog kau. And here it goes...

Stay. Don't leave. You'll break his heart. Is that what you want ? To let him feel what you have felt before when you broke up with his bestfriend ? You know how it hurts. Though he is the-chill-type-of-guy...but the way he kept telling me how he love you, didn't give much evidence to say that he'll be okay if you end it.

What Wan and I said that we are okay with it, as in..we are okay if you guys wanna be together officially..cause Wan told me that you guys are waiting for our greenlight to move further. I have no problem with that. Yes I am worried of those possibilities that I have stated in my previous post, but still, it's not an excuse for me to not be okay if you guys wanna be together. What I am not okay is the fact that you betray my trust I gave you. Don't you understand ? Yes I'm definitely okay and happy if you guys wanna be together. But I'm not okay that you actually took something from me. Something. Not someone. However, I hope...and I pray hard..that we'll be okay again one day...Cause I really, honestly miss you so fucking damn much. I miss your sarcasm, I miss your advises, I miss your laugh, I miss when you are like perasan lagi hot than aku, (haha), I miss when kita berebut siapa lagi comel, I miss the cute little face I see when you are crying (cause your eyes are like little diamonds when you're crying so it's like sailormoon-cartoon-eyes), I miss gossiping about you-know-who( but now not anymore), I miss nak perasaan kita ni hotsetap UIA which clearly we are not, I miss nak usha jejaka "I" with you and then blushing2 sampai pipi nampak mcm pakai blusher, I miss nak gi jalan all the way from our block to Teabox for dinner, I miss texting you everytime I am down about all the stupid guys in my life, I miss calling you and just scream histerically cause I just had a fight with my boyfie, I miss when you can finish my sentence or just understand what I wanna say without saying it, and above all, I miss karaoking with you. That's the best part. I really miss you. I do. Hope I can just put down my ego and stash away my emotional senses so that I can actually put all this behind us and be bestfriends again. Haih...why are we like two couples just breaking up ni ???

As to karma...eventhough you try to return back what you took or did, the karma is still on. I mean the fact that you did it that makes it a karma. Not what you do after that, I think. It's you know that you are my karma ? I did the same thing (or maybe worse) to my own sister about a year-and-a-half ago. I think you know the story. Of course you do. However, I am not wishing that karma happens to you. I'm not that cruel.

I wish you all the happiness in the world that you deserve.


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